"Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs"
Times are hard for dreamers.
"Shalese... where did you get the name for your blog?"
"Shalese... where did you get the name for your blog?"
I stumbled upon this phrase a few years ago. At the time, it never meant anything to me. "Hmm, times are hard for dreamers. Fair enough." I stored it into my thought bank and never thought about it until I stumbled upon the phrase again on Pinterest. And again, I pushed it to the back burner until a couple months later. Looking for tattoo inspiration, I recalled this phrase and looked into its meaning.
Needless to say, my life has since been changed.
It comes from the french comedy Amélie. This movie is about a whimsical free spirit who believes she can make herself happy by changing the lives of the people around her. She gives herself over to people in order to make them happy. She does gain perspective from these good deeds and in turn they make her happy, but only for a short amount of time. In her pursuit for the happiness of others, she forgets her own happiness, leaving her feeling isolated and alone. As she is watching over everyone else, her friend is in turn observing her. It is through this relationship with this friend that she realizes that, while it is indeed good to help others, you will never be happy if your sole purpose is pleasing other people and in turn forgetting yourself.
Twenty years of extreme selflessness streamed down my face as I questioned my life as a giver. Was I happy? Certainly in a temporary sense but I was spreading thin. I felt like I had given so much of myself to others that I had lost myself in the process. There wasn't anything even left to build off of.
As a middle school student, I worried about what people thought of me. Granted, I didn't much care for what strangers thought of me. I was a goofy ginger kid who played in the band and loved super heroes and anime. What bothered me most was whenever my friends and family were upset with me. If I even sensed contention I would ignite into a flame of worry. I'd bend myself over backwards just to find out what was wrong and remedy the situation as easily as I could. Having changed schools twice during my K-12 career I faced many rocky situations with new friends that would KILL me. I was so unstable I'm sure I came close several times to com busting in a burst of radioactivity.
That is a HARD way to live. You can never like yourself because you are in a constant state of turmoil trying to prevent people from disliking you. And try as you might, people notice. When you are giving off a vibe of worry and discontent people are less likely to be content with you, despite your best efforts. They'll bend to your whim momentarily but soon, at the first sign of strife, you will bend and eventually you will break.
I understand I speak often about loving others and accepting people for who they are. But how can you accept someone else ... if you can't even accept yourself? Do you think when you can be okay with yourself it will HONESTLY matter what someone else does? It is easier to embrace other walks of life when you yourself are walking tall. People will sense your security and in themselves they can be secure.
In its youth, a tree is weak and easily swayed. It can bend to those who impose their will upon its limbs. The roots are thin, weak, and shallow, which in turn makes it easy to move. In time, however, a tree can grow into one of the most powerful beings of nature. This tree will offer you its shade, its fruit, and its limbs but it will not offer you its life. It is anchored into the ground and it will not move for you. Despite whatever goes on underneath its outstretching limbs, it continues to grow. Have you seen a tree stop the children from playing beneath its limbs, challenging them to change? "I do not agree with the games with which you play. They are unheard of. You need to be mindful of the trees. We've been here for years."
Are you so deeply anchored in yourself that, despite their best efforts, you will change for no one? Are you comfortable enough with yourself to be comfortable with everyone else?
Do you know how long it took for me to be comfortable in this pale, freckly skin of mine? Years. And trial after trial after trial resulting in a refiners fire. As soon as I started loving myself it became easier for me to love others. I can accept people for who they are, despite our differences. I can give to other people without forgetting myself. It takes time and initiative.
Consider this your wake-up call.
I WANT you to be happy. I wish I could just shake it into your brain but it's something you're going to have to learn. It's going to take time, tears, and heart ache. Does it hurt? Like hell. Is it worth it? You BETTER believe it. I ask for your happiness so that you can be okay with yourself. LOVE yourself. You're cool and you know it. With time, you will start casting out roots and realize how awesome the world is around you. People are beautiful. LIFE is beautiful.
Love.is.beautiful
Times are hard for dreamers. Are you going to feel misunderstood? Of course. Until someone invents the machine that allows us to adventure through each others minds, no one is going to understand the full extent of your dreams. They're not going to understand your wants, your desires, and what makes you tick. Times are hard but times are WORTH IT. Make it your life long goal to make people understand. If that requires you to go beyond-jogging through the park throwing flowers as you go then I'll be right there with you. Wearing peacock feathers.
Carpe that diem kids. And stay beautiful.
Credit goes to Marc Romero. He does all my body art. You can find him here
http://www.facebook.com/MadInkStudio
That is a HARD way to live. You can never like yourself because you are in a constant state of turmoil trying to prevent people from disliking you. And try as you might, people notice. When you are giving off a vibe of worry and discontent people are less likely to be content with you, despite your best efforts. They'll bend to your whim momentarily but soon, at the first sign of strife, you will bend and eventually you will break.
I understand I speak often about loving others and accepting people for who they are. But how can you accept someone else ... if you can't even accept yourself? Do you think when you can be okay with yourself it will HONESTLY matter what someone else does? It is easier to embrace other walks of life when you yourself are walking tall. People will sense your security and in themselves they can be secure.
In its youth, a tree is weak and easily swayed. It can bend to those who impose their will upon its limbs. The roots are thin, weak, and shallow, which in turn makes it easy to move. In time, however, a tree can grow into one of the most powerful beings of nature. This tree will offer you its shade, its fruit, and its limbs but it will not offer you its life. It is anchored into the ground and it will not move for you. Despite whatever goes on underneath its outstretching limbs, it continues to grow. Have you seen a tree stop the children from playing beneath its limbs, challenging them to change? "I do not agree with the games with which you play. They are unheard of. You need to be mindful of the trees. We've been here for years."
Are you so deeply anchored in yourself that, despite their best efforts, you will change for no one? Are you comfortable enough with yourself to be comfortable with everyone else?
Do you know how long it took for me to be comfortable in this pale, freckly skin of mine? Years. And trial after trial after trial resulting in a refiners fire. As soon as I started loving myself it became easier for me to love others. I can accept people for who they are, despite our differences. I can give to other people without forgetting myself. It takes time and initiative.
Consider this your wake-up call.
I WANT you to be happy. I wish I could just shake it into your brain but it's something you're going to have to learn. It's going to take time, tears, and heart ache. Does it hurt? Like hell. Is it worth it? You BETTER believe it. I ask for your happiness so that you can be okay with yourself. LOVE yourself. You're cool and you know it. With time, you will start casting out roots and realize how awesome the world is around you. People are beautiful. LIFE is beautiful.
Love.is.beautiful
Times are hard for dreamers. Are you going to feel misunderstood? Of course. Until someone invents the machine that allows us to adventure through each others minds, no one is going to understand the full extent of your dreams. They're not going to understand your wants, your desires, and what makes you tick. Times are hard but times are WORTH IT. Make it your life long goal to make people understand. If that requires you to go beyond-jogging through the park throwing flowers as you go then I'll be right there with you. Wearing peacock feathers.
Carpe that diem kids. And stay beautiful.
Credit goes to Marc Romero. He does all my body art. You can find him here
http://www.facebook.com/MadInkStudio
