10 Easy Ways for "Straightening" Out America

With Hurricane Sandy in our midst and December 21st looming in our future, it's important we address these issues and take precautions against further problems and natural disasters. For the sake of the children.

God is angry. The gays are loose. 

Yes, I'm talking about the direct correlation to the conditions of the weather and the promiscuity of the homosexuals. Every time the B-52's are played on the radio moisture begins to collect in the air and the cold fronts start to charge into the warm fronts. I have taken it upon myself, after several conversations with God, to address these issues. It is my social and civil duty to FIX THIS PROBLEM. So, in turn, I have mapped out 10 easy ways to "straightening" out America.

1. Anyone with the name of Gay, be it middle or first, must change their name. Options will include Jolly, Hetero, or Mitt. 

2. Any song, poem, or story that uses the word "gay" will be required to revert to a more politically correct version. 

"....A dabba doo time. We'll have a EXTREMELYHAPPYANDSTRICTLYMISSIONARY old time." (The questionable friendship of Fred and Barney notwithstanding)

3. Men who order a drink more girly than a rum and coke will be required to prove their heterosexuality by humming the theme song to Monday Night Football and explaining, in detail, their last encounter with a vagina. 

4. Men will not be allowed to wear scarves unless they can prove it is extremely cold. Exceptions will be made for those who are hipsters with the proper documentation and thick rimmed glasses. 

5. Broadway will be cancelled until further notice. Or until straight men learn how to sing and dance.

6.  Ballet will be converted to an all-women art form. Unless, of course, the women become too manly and start to get the wrong idea. Same goes for cheer leading.

7. Accomplishments in sports will be celebrated with thoughtfully written-out thank you notes and nose pokes. In all women and all male sports, sports spanks will no longer be allowed.

8. Gay people in the media will be stripped of their titles and only allowed the occasional appearance on that dirty liberal show, Sesame Street. 

     A. Ellen Degeneres will be reduced to the 6:00 AM morning show as the weather girl. Personality
         will not be tolerated. 

    B. Shows such as How I Met Your Mother, Tropic Thunder, The Silence of the Lambs, and

         Stargate will be banned. 

    C. Melissa Eldridge, Mika, Adam Lambert, Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin, and George Michael will

        only be allowed to sing gospel hymns until further notice. 

    D. The Lion King theme song, "Can You Feel the Love Tonight", will be changed from Elton John 

         to Justin Bieber. Old versions will be promptly destroyed.

9. San Francisco will be taken down. Obviously.

10. A 12-step recovery program, similar to AA, will be introduced for those dealing with homosexuality. Instead of sobriety chips, people will receive brightly colored condoms. 

Let us reach out to each other in preventing further natural disasters. We can never be too cautious with the end of the world looming in the near future. God has made it known he will manipulate the natural order of things in order to make his opinion clear. Join me in condemning everyone to the same boring missionary we must all endure... I mean enjoy. A straighter today will make for a brighter tomorrow. Say it with me loud and proud: TODAY THE GAY MUST GO AWAY. 

There's A Poem For That

Tired of social media drama?
There's a poem for that


So I threw a fit not right for my age
Unleashing this quiet pent up rage
No longer keeping this quiet composure
Letting everyone know how my life is torture
I cried and I screamed, playing the game
No longer did I care about the shame
I told everyone I wasn't okay
No longer preteding to act that way
Quoting sad songs, hating myself
Squandering all my emotional wealth
Walking around, quite disheveled
Pulling everyone down to this low sunken level
Black tracks running down my face
Making a noisy fall from grace
But when I looked up what did I find?
Instead it had all happened in my mind
My dignity was still in tact
Because that's no way an adult should act

Keep Going

Waddup my bloggin homies :P

....anyways.

I'm sure you're all thinking, "sheesh. So much for blogging everyday."

Yeah, college is kinda eating me alive right now. It seems to be either feast or famine. School is really easy and running smoothly and then BAM... code red crisis mode.

Seeing as how I went to bed at 2:00 AM and woke up at 5:00 AM, I'd say I'm right at that code red. It's like this crushing weight of OMG I CAN'T DO THIS.

This negative overwhelming feeling makes me want to reach out to those of you who are feeling the same way. I know life can be really hard sometimes but, once you crawl yourself to the finish line, it's such a wonderful feeling of achievement and pride.

I can do this. I am okay. I will keep moving.

Keep moving. Know you're not alone. I care so much about you guys and worry about you. It's crushing to feel alone. During times of stress and turmoil, even though you arrive at the finish line bruised and beat up, at least you made it to the finish line. You're already ahead of the pack who didn't even make the motion to get off the couch.

You are strong. After this, you will be even stronger.

I should probably get back to studying for my test.....

Love you. Stay beautiful

Spiders

Little spider, spinning your web of lies
Muffling out your victims cries
Dancing in circles, weaving your thread
Because secrets are best kept by the dead
Spread your venom and spread it well
Don't lose your composure because people can tell
Hurry and scurry for your threads are fraying
Your loyalties are ever straying
Your threads are now growing weak
Because of these lies that you keep
Weighed upon threads thick as a whisper
Your enemies now carry the scissors

To the Readers

Just wanted to give a quick shout out to the readers from Russia! I've noticed there's been quite a few recently. I've always loved Russia and hope to spend part of my life there. It's the perfect place for Aquarians. I'll bring lots of cranberry juice ;)

I would also like to give a shout out to EVERYONE. I love the response I get from when I post things. I love reading the comments, watching the view tick higher, and watching the likes increase. It warms my heart. I hope you guys know how much of myself I pour into these posts. I feel so strongly about what I talk about and seeing the love that comes back is so wonderful.

You guys are awesome.
Keep the strength alive
Love and love you

Bullying in All It's Forms

"And too much blood has flown from the wrists
Of the children shamed for those they chose to kiss"
Rise Against



Unless you don't have a Facebook or access to social media, you have probably have heard of the terrible death of Amanda Todd. With that, you have probably also seen the jokes and remarks also made in her direction. People are also upset that there was no page made for their brother who was bullied for being a nerd or for being gay. Why does this beautiful girl get a page for being harassed by men she had relations with?

Because of the nature of her death, does that make it anymore justified? "Well, she was asking for it so she deserved what she got." Are you kidding me? Be wary of casting stones in your house of glass. Just because she made mistakes different from your own does not mean her death is any less tragic. When someone takes their own life it is due to extreme suffering and torment. Do not cheapen the mourning experience of her family and friends by spewing hatred and obscenities. No one deserves to go through that.

With that being said, let's address the deaths of those being bullied for other reasons. Hell, let's just address death. Self-inflicted termination of all you have ever known. What kind of society are we that we have driven countless adolescents to such a point of misery. I so wish I could take that child in my arms and cry over their head as I tell them, "it's okay." Weeping together for the troubles they have experienced and the life they have had to go through. Is bullying someone about their sexual orientation really worth a life over your head? Is tormenting someone for being a nerd or ugly or stupid really worth having a hand in the ending of someone's life? Even if someone is different from you or you do not agree, such heinous hatred is useless and unnecessary. It's wildly cliche and spoken over every cradle but.... if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. You surely don't have to embrace the person but you don't have to wound them with your words. Your weighted, disgusting words.

Having sat at and participated in several debates about unconventional and unique families, I've seen what suicide can do to a family. I understand that sometimes there's nothing you can do. With all the help you have given them, it just can't be enough. I watched a mother weep over the loss of her son and it near broke my heart. The advice she gave us was to think of their child when they were alive. A woman asked her, in her time of trial, "what was your son like when he was alive?" It gave her the opportunity to portray her child as a happy and lively young man. She felt relief from shedding beautiful light on this dark story. I have no experience in such a hard time or trial. I understand it is such a hard thing to go through and I have the utmost respect and love for the individuals who take on such a burden. They have the strongest and most beautiful of wings.

This is such an overwhelming topic that I can't even begin to cover it all. Those who push someone to the edge of a cliff and those who have to deal with the loss of when they jump. It's gut-wrenching sad. Please, please, just be wary of what you say to people and how you say it. Words can leave scars that sometimes never heal. Sit by the kid at school who sits alone. Help someone up when someone pushes them down. Pick up their books when someone slaps them away. Say hello. Smile.

We, as a society, need to stop calling out people on our flaws and embrace our triumphs. We're all different, and that's okay. I know I've said it before but I'll say it again. And again. It's essentially the tune to the beat I march to. After I told the drummer how I wanted her to play, of course. Be nice. Please, please be nice.

I love you my dear friends. Stay strong and stay beautiful

A Story For You

I know I said I'd be writing everyday. I started out the gate with a running head start and had the intention of keeping the ball rolling. I loved the release of a constant free write and felt like I had enough fuel to burn a constant blogging fire.

..... and then I fell.

I took one wrong step and tripped over my confidence and self-esteem. A week was spent weeping in the shower and never making it through a sad song without tears connecting the freckles on my face. It was like an extreme emotional writers block. I didn't want to sit down and talk to you for fear of what I might say. Life was just.. really hard.

What would the good moments be without the bad? If you sat at the table, eating chocolate cake everyday, wouldn't you grow to hate chocolate cake? Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. It doesn't have to be. We unbox the emotional distress in our minds and pack it away on bookshelves. Whenever you life grows still and calm, you can pull a book down from your bookshelf, shuffle through the pages, remind yourself of the pain you felt, and then move on. Taking a look at where you were you are able to see where you're going. Life is always moving and we can either drag our feet or dance our way there.

I got tired of school, work, repeat, sleep when possible. My life felt so small. It wasn't going anywhere. I lost track of my guiding star. But it's that reclaiming of ourselves that makes us stronger. With a renewed sense of direction, I can keep going. Moving. Growing. Sometimes as we fly, the current blows through our wings and we veer off course. But when we come back, our wings are strong. Beautiful. Life is grooming us for something big! Don't lose hope. I know it's hard. Hell, it's so hard sometimes. But it's worth it. When I see my friends and my family, I know life is worth it and I can keep moving. Carry on.... my wayward son ;) (needless to say there's nothing to a good pick me up than the super foxy Winchester Brothers.)

So, with much ado, I owe you a story.

Jennifer

Standing in the corner of the pasture, Howard hung his head. The tears he had been holding back were causing his eyes to burn. Standing out there with the horses, however, he could be nothing but strong. At the first sign of distress, they would mock and bully him. For, you see, Howard was just a mule. He was strong and determined, but no one could see it because he was different. He tried to hide his pain but sometimes it was like an overwhelming change of the tides. His feathery eyelashes blinked away most of his tears, but a few still landed on the dirt below him.

"Please, please... help me," he whispered in his heart. "Why am I different? Why have I been given the burden of being different? Try as I might to bear this gift with flying colors it only seems to be dragging me down. Can't I prance around like the others?"

The silence after his plea cut through the last of his determination like a knife. He sank to the floor, giving in to the tears he had been holding off all day. He heard the horses in the pasture call to him, asking for his participation in their daily games. Knowing he never won anyway, he didn't have the heart to take part in them today. Listening to their fun and games, he drifted in to sleep.

"Howard."
"Dear Howard, please wake up."

Howard blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he woke up. Judging by the silence everyone must have gone to bed. It had to be the middle of the night. As he raised his head, he saw a beautiful woman in a sparkling teal dress with long brown hair.

"I heard your call Howard. I wanted so badly to come to you but I knew it wasn't the right time. No one can fix your problems for you. If I came to rescue you, you would forever be stunted in your growth. I had to wait until you tried, sincerely tried, and understood your worth and your potential."

Howard rose to his feet, the roughness that comes from day-old tears leaving his eyes. He stared at this beautiful woman, taking in what she had just said.

"I've come to help you," she whispered. "You are not alone. You are never alone. I've come to give you a gift."

"Are you going to make me into a horse," Howard asked eagerly.

"Is that what you want Howard? To be a horse? To be like everyone else? After living a life as someone different, do you wish to be made like everyone else? Because I can do that for you if that's what you want."

Howard thought about this. Thought and thought. "Well, I've... I've never thought about it like that. Had you asked me before, I would have said yes with no hesitation. I wanted nothing more than to be like everyone else. But the thought of giving in to everyone else makes me sad. A life of uniformity? A life of frivolous games? I don't think I want that...."

Jennifer smiled. That was her name. Jennifer the Fairy, granting wishes and offering friendship. "I had rather hoped you would say that, for I have something grand planned for you. Something like nothing ever done or seen before. Would you like that?"

Howard smiled. "Yes I would very much like that."

Jennifer waved her hand over Howard's head, sprinkling a bit of glitter upon the white spot between his eyes. A bright glow began and to fill the pasture and Howard felt strange, as if someone was tickling their fingers up and down his spine.

As the bright light began to diminish, Jennifer gave filled the pasture with the sounds of happy, tinkling laughter. "Oh that went better than I expected! You are handsome Howard! A picture of strength and beauty." She clapped her hands in delight.

At this sound, the horses had begun to stir from their slumber. They began to head towards the corner from where the light had come from. Half asleep, the startled wide awake at the sight of Howard. Or, rather, what they thought was Howard.

"Howard, is that you?"
"What happened?"
"Who's the girl?"

Howard had grown tall, lean, and beautiful. He had the rippling muscles of the strongest stallion. His coat was pure white, umblemished and perfect. His mane was long, shiny, and perfect. And between his eyes was the most beautiful horn anyone had ever seen. He kicked out his hind legs and tossed his head in pure joy. All the other horses looked on at him with awe and bewilderment.

"You're a unicorn Howard! Oh boy, a unicorn. You will forever be different in a way no one will ever know," cried Jennifer.

"Perfect," Howard said.
"Just perfect."

A Story For You

Louise

Did I mention my poems are also borderline horrifying? If they're not depressing they're Tim Burton scary. Good thing I love me some Tim Burton. I was known for writing random bits of poetry and song lyrics on my papers at my old job where I worked for my good friend Louise. I figured I would touch back on a bit of nostalgia for this story.
Just you wait until I show you the one I have written for Christmas ;)


There once was a girl named Shalese
Who worked for a woman named Louise
They worked at that good ole place called (insert business here)
Getting along with ..... most of their peers
Jewelry was organized again and again
The shoe mess would never end
Almost reaching their wits end
One fine day they made a friend
He staggered up to the counter
Standing in a sort of awkward stupor
He didn't say anything but moan
He reached out his arms and then he groaned
His skin was sallow and a ghastly shade of gray
It was then we did hear Louise say
"A zombie! A zombie!" she did cry
Then the man did shrug and sigh
"I am not a zombie. You are mistaken.
Though such an assumption is often taken."
I've been looking and looking for the perfect ring
One to make my girl's heart sing
I can't find one anywhere"
He did stop and then he stared.
"You see her beauty is beyond compare."
We combed through our jewelry cases
Louise and Shalese exchanging faces
"Is this guy really for real?"
"He looks like he'd make my brain a meal."
But alas the ring we did find
He stared at it and began to unwind
Emerald cut, sterling silver
"Here you, now leave us mister."
As Shalese handed him his bag
He leaned over and then cried "TAG."
And with that he did bite into her arm
Shalese cried out in alarm
"Now you get to play my Halloween game"
Louise looked at Shalese's arm, now maimed
"Zombie tag, it's great fun
Tell all your friends they better run."

A Story For You

Marc

"I'm sorry but I can no longer make hats. My madness does not exist in making hats. I want to draw," Marc told his brother.

"I do believe you are making a mistake," replied the Mat Hatter. "We cannot exist outside of Wonderland. We are too mad. People won't understand."

Marc shrugged. "I do not care if people understand. There's nothing for me here in Wonderland. I want to draw. Even more, I want to draw on the canvas of skin."

The Mad Hatter jumped at this, almost knocking his hat right off his head. "Skin.... as a canvas?? I have never heard of such a thing. Still... it could work. You are mad after all."

Marc chuckled, fiddling with the straps on his leather jacket. "You've got that right. But you know something.... There's other people out there who are mad. It sits in wait underneath their skin, leaving them feeling misunderstood because nobody can see it. Art upon their skin can relieve their pressure. It can show the world their madness. I'm certain of this brother, and I'm leaving whether you like it or not."

The Mat Hatter stood their for a moment, processing this new thought. He was unaware of the twitch in his right eyebrow that often happened when he was thinking too hard. He shifted his weight back and forth, thinking and thinking. As if the thought was moving through his body, his shoulders moved with the fluidity of a wave. His hands twirled around like burlesque dancers and his knees suddenly gave a jump. "By Joe, I've got it. You are mad. I am mad. The world is mad. Since you are leaving with or without my blessing, I choose to give you my blessing. Carry our name into the world Marc. It's a shame you choose to leave now, however, for I feel this new girl Alice is going to bring about change. Change worthy of songs and books. But fare thee well. I bid you ado."

And with that he rode off into the distance. It's a pity the world knew not of the Mad Hatter's brother. He went about the world prescribing people's madness and generally making bad ass tattoos.

Shalese: an adrenaline junkie addicted to the thrill of living instead of just existing

 Do you think I've gone round the bend?"

"I'm afraid so. You're mad, bonkers, completely off your head. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.” 

A Story For You

I'll post a story a day for Justin, Marc, Jennifer, and Louise (even though your answer was wrong I still appreciate the comment. Therefore, a story for you). The answer was in fact Monty Python. Probably one of my favorite shows. I swear there's an old British man controlling my ginger mind. British humor makes me happy as a clam. 

Justin

"Just another day on the job. If I hear one more complaint about those damn messy floors there will be blood." He walked down the hall as his keys jingled, ringing in his arrival like Santa Clause on Christmas. Shaking his head at the scuffs on the floor, he walked up to his closet. Turning the key in the lock, he opened the door. 

"Justin.. I've been waiting for you." There in the closet stood an Asian man dressed in the garb of the samurai. "The time has come for you to accept your destiny." 

"My destiny??" he replied. "When my destiny extends beyond the menial life of a janitor I highly doubt it'll end up with the likes of an old Asian man."

"We have been watching you," replied the samurai. "Have you ever wondered why there were so many martial artists within the ranks of the janitors here at this college? Random happenstance perhaps? You are mistaken. You have been chosen. It is time."

Justin looked at the Asian man and laughed. "Okay... alright. Who's behind this? Did Moses hire you to prank me? Only someone with connections could get an outfit like that. This is ridiculous. Don't strain yourself buddy on such a silly little prank."

"ENOUGH!" cried the Asian man, losing his calm composure. "We are leaving whether you like it or not." With that he reached for the sword hanging from his belt. 

"Whoa, whoa dude. Cut that shit out. I'm not playing anymore. This isn't funny!" cried Justin. Nevertheless, the samurai swung his sword. In such a small room, he was bound to damage something. Justin ducked, fearing for the loss of his head. 

"Wassup homeDawg," said a familiar voice. As Justin straightened, he found he was no longer in his janitor closet. There was quite a possibility he wasn't even in 2012, judging by the dress of the men working in what appeared to be rice fields. 

"Shalese... what the hell did you get me into?" 

"Well, I told you we were ninjas."

And Now For Something Completely Different

"Did you get a chance to read Shalese's post today?"

"Ooooh did I?! It was brilliant! Awesome! Splendind. Drove me to tears and changed my life forever."

"....wow. What did she talk about?"

"Why, she wrote out the dialogue for our conversation of course!"

^.^ Happy Friday Friends

....oh, and if you can tell me where the title of this post comes from... I'll write a short story about you tomorrow. Comment below and leave any facts or plot line you'd like me to include.

Cheers

The Power Within

Needless to say, sometimes I get a little overwhelmed. I look at the world and find so much beauty that I don't know what to do with it. As an Aquarius, (yes I am a crazy astrology nut) it's as much a blessing as a curse. This overwhelming love for humanity overshadows my love for individual people. There is so much fire when I love someone but I have the hardest time expressing it. Also a sign of an Aquarius. I think my family and a few choice best friends recognize how I communicate love and most other people don't understand. It's almost as if, as strongly as I can feel it, I assume people can see it. The way it burns me it must show upon my face. Alas, it does not. I often come off as cold and aloof. "That Shalese girl sure is funny but she has as much emotion as a Barbie."

If you are having a hard time connecting or understanding someone, perhaps it's because they speak in a different language.... Which seems like a no-brainer unless you look at love as a type of language. We all communicate and express ourselves differently. It is no different for love. When approaching someone with a closed off mind, you will never pick up on what they are trying to say. You may see some emotions or actions that have caused you to pass quick judgement that will prevent you from getting to know who the person truly is. I can't express enough my beliefs in the betterment of humanity through an open mind. It's human instinct to read a person's first impressions. We take a brief sketch of the person before us, diagnosing whether we feel they will hurt or harm us. Bring us up or make us fall. I'm not asking you to embrace the fellow in front of you at the checkout line with multiple tattoos who smells like weed. However, to stand there and make rude comments about such an individual is unnecessary. Believe me or not, this happened to me last week as I watched a man and his wife comment on a Hispanic family taking too long in the checkout line. Why must we be rude and hurtful? Do we actually know what's going on behind the walled-up people we see in public? Are we understanding what they are communicating? Please be more open-minded and gentle towards people. It's hard for everyone. There's no need to make it harder.

And, YET AGAIN, I have managed to stray away from my original intent. I kinda like that about free-writing. I always end up somewhere I didn't expect. It's a good journey to take in discovering more about myself. Anyways, I wanted to share with you the prose I wrote around the time when the earthquake happened in Haiti. Kinda give you a bigger picture in my undying love for humanity. Yes.... I'm a hippie. Or some may say. I find it a waste of time to go around bitter and unhappy. Until you make a bad comment about my dog or threaten my family, I will probably like you from the start. Cheers my loves.

Will it sound silly if I say it's beautiful?

If I cry as I hold my pencil hoping I can find the words to express my passion?
If I labor trying to explain to you
The human experience is the ultimate experience


Will it sound silly if I say it's beautiful?

Can I major in life?
We are all connected by the things that make us unique
Our memories. Our hopes. Our dreams
Our anguish. Our lies. Our sorrow

Will it sound silly if I say it's beautiful?

The human element courses through our very souls
Enriching the mind. Fueling the passion
We often stand so far apart
Forgetting what binds us

But when we are called upon
We can join together
Combining our elements for a common purpose
With our efforts all in one, we can accomplish anything

Will it sound silly if I say it's beautiful

No earthquake, no tsunami, no hurricane
Can withstand the power of our joined hands
We love, we fight, we cry, we laugh

We cherish
We live

We live the human experience
Embracing the journey
It is hard to see the bad when there is

so much good
So much love

Unite. Fight. Appreciate what is right
Not who or whom or where or when

What is right?

We stand on the side of love
Blessed by the life that is all around
FIGHT, I say, for your right to live
Live for your right to fight for what you love

Will it sound silly if I say it's beautiful?

Satirical Shalese

When watching the news who here prefers The Daily Show over Fox News? The Colbert Report over CNN? Would you rather read The Onion over The Times? For me, I'd say yes, yes, and yes.

Blessed, blessed satire.

Dictionary defines satire as the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice or folly. It allows people to look at a situation from a humorous, sarcastic perspective. Often times, when someone is stuck within the walls of their opinions, it takes satire to make them look with new eyes. Satire, to me, is the beautiful awe-inspiring motion to incite action within people that can't be achieved otherwise. It allows them to laugh and then say, "Oh yeah. I do do that."

I'm sure many of us have seen A Knight's Tale. My FAVORITE character is the movie is the poet, Geoffrey. Whenever he speaks, my soul sings. He has the ability to write as well as the ability to speak and is extremely quick witted. The movie is loosely based on the composition of stories written by Geoffrey Chaucer called the Canterbury Tales. Using sarcasm and satire, Chaucer manages to poke fun at English Society, focusing on the Church. I remember the day in senior english class when a professor specializing in The Canterbury Tales came to speak to us. I was fully enamored and fell in love with the use of satire.

I'm sure many of you have also come across the movie and/or book Gulliver's Travels, written by Jonathon Swift. Gulliver's Travels examines many different negative themes in society at the time and can still be applied today. When he goes to Lilliput, he meets a small group of people who fight over which side to break their morning eggs. The two political parties are based upon the height of their heels. Elections are based upon show and not fact or reason. Starting to sound familiar? By using comparison, he makes it easy for people to make the connection into their own lives. His second great works is A Modest Proposal. Most certainly one of my favorite articles EVER. Because there are so many poor, starving people, why not just....... eat the babies. Surely it's foolproof! The people have a source of income and food and it prevents the population from growing out of control. Just be sure to cook them right because you can't eat a baby when it's...

Starting to feel disgusted? Well, that's the point. It pointed out the nobility's heartless attitudes towards the poor. From the standpoint of A Modest Proposal it seems as if, "Hey we already despise the poor. Why not take rude and heartless to a whole new level by buying their children for Sunday dinner." Someone with such a poor attitude before may not feel the same way after taking a look at their own attitude. It is a literary slap to the face. A much needed awakening.

Satire can also be seen today. Such as in the Colbert Report and The Daily Show. Thankfully, it is alive and well. I wish I could fully express how much I love and adore such methods. It sends shivers down my spine and warms my spirit. I hope to one day achieve the same levels of talent as the greats that have come before me. This love, this passion, is the kindling to my fire. My opinions and ideas usually jump off a springboard of satire. I am often told of my very strong use of voice in my writing and I must give thanks to such a high compliment. For those of you who know me only from behind the screen, I have a very dry quick wit that can just as much amuse as it can sting. My friend once said, "I have never heard someone so eloquently express their anger as Shalese." So, whenever I sound sarcastic and dry, it is only in hopes of approaching a sensitive topic in a way that won't turn people away. I want people to look first and process what I have to say. With all the facts, opinions, and angry sayers of nay, it's a refreshing look at what you have to hear about all the time. Or so I hope.

Love you guys.

Slam Piece

.................
..........

Alright fine. I apologize for the blatant innuendo in my title. However, given the topic today, I felt like it was a clever play on words. I could not resist. With an evil grin and a giggle, let us continue.

Lately I have been entertaining the idea of entering a poetry slam. Generally the poetry I write is very short so I doubt I'd be able to fill three minutes of speaking time. And whenever I do write poetry, it's more often therapeutic. If I'm upset about something and don't understand what or why, a couple free writes with some rhymes and I begin to understand. So, as therapy sessions, they tend to take a dark and depressing turn.

...and frankly I hate that.

I'm not about to stand in front of a group of people for THREE minutes and, for lack of a better term, BITCH about my problems. Often times when people say they're depressed, dramatic, or emotional it's because they want people to know they're depressed, dramatic, or emotional. The whole "Woe is me" is just a facade for attention. The only time I enjoy Woe is Me is when I'm listening to the band. I have no need to proclaim to the public I'm distraught or ill at ease. The people that are close enough to me to care will notice and, together, we'll work through it. I don't need Facebook or Twitter.

Call me old fashioned but sometimes I feel like when it comes to drama rub some damn dirt in it and move on. Yes life is hard and yes sometimes we falter. So take care of yourself and keep moving. Growth never comes from planting your feet in your "miserable" state of mind and making sure everyone around you knows the extent of your misery. Take time to acknowledge your feelings and then fix it. Grow up. Move on. Get over it. "Constantly doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity." I feel like I got this quote from an article in the Onion but I can't remember.

So you can see why I'd be wary of entering a poetry slam. Often times I feel I'm a generally upbeat person in life because I work out my problems on paper. If I'm upset, I acknowledge how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling that way in a safe environment where no one has to listen to my naysaying..... Except perhaps my mom. I feel like the older I get the more often I call her about my problems. Anyways.. I approach my feelings the same way I approach my writing. I allow it to sit in my mind, gaining speed as I analyze the situation from all angles and perspectives. I dissect my actions, reactions, and emotions. And when the burden of my problem weighs too heavily on my mind, I write it down. That way I don't carry it around with me anymore. It's safely tucked away between the pages of a notebook.. Done. Gone. And I can revert to being myself.

I understand some people can't do that or have yet to find a safe outlet for expressing their problems. So instead they grasp at attention anyway they can. If that helps in their current state of mind and place in time, then at least it helps. At least you are receiving the release or the attention that you need to help ease your burden. Just know it's probably not healthy. And I'm sure it's not providing lasting comfort either. So work on your problems the best way you can. Take up gardening. Sew pajama pants. Knit cat sweaters. Turn off your mind and allow your body to take over. Sometimes all your mind needs is a quick session of auto-pilot to correct itself.

Now... for the irony. After much inner turmoil and rant rant ranting... I'm going to share with you a piece of the poem I started. A glimpse into my coping method in hopes that you will find your own. It started as a journey, if you will, to discovering my deeply embedded aversion to lying. Hate it. As tolerant as I can be, I can only take so much of lying before I self destruct. In all honesty, I would prefer an ugly truth to a pretty lie. Living my life through a facade put on by other people... nothing hurts me more. I also hurt for the person who feels the need to lie. Whatever they are covering up must be a heavy burden to carry. With that being said, as I was driving home with my mom, these few stanzas fell into my lap. Here's to raw and beautiful.


I live in fear of when your words turn black
Watching them fall into my lap
What am I suppose to do with these?
Your black words keep mocking me

So I cling to the truth within your eyes
There I go to escape the lies
Listening to your words of white
Knowing the blackness that comes with the night

There on your mouth the lies sit
And from your lips the poison drips
Coloring your words to the blackest of black
And once they're said we can never go back

Dear Diary

DRUM ROLL PLEASE
 
At the persistent request of others, I have decided to take a more personal approach towards my blog. Even if it's just a couple sentences, I plan on writing everyday. Keep in mind.. when I use the word PLAN... it's a loose commitment. What with the trying times of a college student with a full time job I'm sure there will be extenuating circumstances preventing me from writing some days. We'll give it a go. Try it out for a week or so. If we don't like it I'll revert back to the once or twice a month formula. A daily free write is also a good "flex" of that writing muscle. Granted, a free write is also very raw. Writing in it's infancy is often not one of brilliance or structure. However, it can create something uniquely beautiful. When I write, I like to write in my head. A seed is planted into my mind that grows and grows until I can bear it no more and give it life upon paper. As to what will happen when I take my daily thoughts and opinions and, without thought, throw them at you on a daily basis, is unknown. It may even be scary.

To be honest... I'm a bit nervous. What will happen when you see who it is that sits behind this computer I do not know. My thoughts may not be as put together or uniform. You may find that often times I'm unsure of where I stand or what I believe in. Sometimes I lose sight of who it is I am and have to find her again. This confident writer you often see here, while still a very strong part of me, is not the whole part. Your opinions of me will probably sway back and forth. My intention is to create a more personal experience. What goes into making me who I am? Where do I get my opinions from? Let's find that out together.

Oh, and.. heads up. I've been reading classic literature lately and I find that it often seeps into my writing. Classic literature turns me into the love child of Yoda and a pretentious British old man. My sentence structure changes and my vocabulary takes a turn for the.. Better? Worse? Who knows...

Cheers my friends.

Elephants, Donkeys, and Sheep. Oh My!

We all know what's coming. How could we not? It liters our Facebook stream, the bumpers of our cars, our lawns, and the comic book section of the newspaper. It divides families and unities strangers. It makes us talk to chairs and jump on couches....or maybe that was for something else... anyways..

The Election
The Presidential Race
The Fight Between Blue and Red
The Elephant and the Ass

STOP!!   .. BEFORE you walk away, know that I'm not about to tell you who I think you should vote for. Frankly I think there's been enough of that to wrap around the world twice and still have enough leftovers to make me nauseous. There's been so much mudslinging going on I fear that with even the most unbiased attempt I'd still get some on me.

Who you vote for is entirely up to you..
...or is it?

"Ahh, another day at work," says the elephant. He kisses his wife, pats his children on the head, and walks out the door. He nestles his rock safely into his holster. "Can't go anywhere without this," he adds. It's a little known fact that elephants use rocks to protect themselves in times of crisis. "Another fine day at the barnyard," he grumbles. He'd been fighting with the donkeys all afternoon yesterday about drilling for extra watering holes and wasn't ready for another day of bickering. "For the good of society," he says to himself before heading out the door.

"Mr. Donkey!" the kids cry out as he passes by. "Why hello children! Shouldn't you be in school?" "Mr. Donkey don't be silly! It's a Saturday!" Mr. Donkey laughs. "Why yes, I forgot! Well, don't forget to mind your studies." He walks along, thinking to himself the key points in his speech today for the barnyard. He'd been trying to convince the public that the time for a female to carry a child was her own choice. This new birth control thing was heavy stuff and, by golly, he would not stand for infringement upon a women's right!

With these thoughts in mind, he sees Mr. Elephant. "Hello good sir!" he cries out. Despite their differences they were great friends brought together by the common work place. "It's good to se....

"Whoaa, Mr. Elephant man. What's up?" bleats Mr. Sheep standing by his mailbox. "So I heard you like, hate women and stuff." "Hate women?? The audacity! That is not my stance at all. I love my wife!" replied Mr. Elephant, trying to remain calm after such a heinous remark. "Chaa, okay. My neighbor said you were 'shackling the women into submission'." Mr. Donkey stepped in. "I fear your neighbor is a bit misinformed. You see, Mr. Elephant focuses more on the family and feels abstinence should be taught more in schools." The sheep laughed. "Seeing as how you're a pot smoking hippie freakk, I'd say rock on but Mr. Elephant has you fooled." "I beg your pardon?" replied Mr. Donkey. "The legalization of access to the hemp pasture is still in progress. The medicinal purposes and use of taxes are being looked into. How I feel about the issue is beside the point. I have never partaken in such a process in all my life!" "Suure, okay. Well, tell Bob I won't be at the debate today. I decided to, you know, do other things. So I better go." With that, Mr. Sheep scratched his hind quarters and walked into the house.

"Sheep..." grumbled Mr. Donkey. "They'd follow somebody off a cliff." Mr. Elephant chuckled. "Right you are good friend. Let's get to work."


So, to all my elephants and donkeys out there .... who is getting tired of the sheep? The ones who vote based on heresay and the opinions of others. The ones who only look to validate their pre-existing opinions instead of forming new ones based on fact. The ones who heckle you into insanity instead of engaging in proper political debate. I'm sure you're thinking of a specific person right now..

I will give you this. The media blows stories way out of proportions. We are a desensitized overcritical public so who could blame them? Would a mild story about the President's Family make press over his old smoking habits? Unlikely. So take into account it is hard to search out the truth. Often times our media, however much they try not to be, leans towards the left or the right. Radical stories poison our minds with flashy headlines and pictures via photoshop. To find the honest truth and form proper opinions requires a massive amount of work. However, even massive amounts of research will get you nowhere if you are only looking with a pair of blinders. In an article for the New York Times, Paul Croce said "Often times, when we are stuck in our ways, we don't research to learn. We research to have our opinions validated. We all tend to learn what we already know."

Walking into research with your mind already made up is like paying for plastic surgery while thinking you're already pretty. It's a waste of time resulting in an even more obscure unhappy version of the person before. Stand by your values with all your heart, yes, but be wary of what goes on around you. Constantly be perfecting and reevaluating your values into something respectable enough to take out to dinner.

Just as you inherited your eye color or laugh from your parents, you have probably inherited their beliefs and values. Luckily, the gift of beliefs is not so permanent as the gift of genetics. If you have looked into the facts and thought about what they mean to you and still find your beliefs to match up, I say good for you! Elephants produce elephants and donkeys produce donkeys. However, don't be the weird genetic mutation and wind up a sheep. Are you blindly following your parents off a cliff? Simply spewing what you heard last night at the dinner table? Your beliefs are built upon a rocky foundation that will crumble at the first sign of debate, resulting in a bitter and angry person grasping at straws and clinging to what they think is right. Educate yourselves! Be aware of what's going on and up to date on your current events. Engage in educated discussion and watch the debates and read the news articles. I know it takes time and effort. Often times people don't start to politically assert themselves until college. Just don't miss your chance and be the one stuck in their head.

As much positive and negative things to be said about elephants and donkeys, only one real good thing comes from sheep.... the fact they look pretty hilarious naked. Don't end up naked and embarrassed. And heaven forbid don't walk yourself off a cliff because you were following someone else. There's still a little bit of time. If you don't know who you're voting for then look into the stance of each party. Read the articles. Watch the news. Talk to people. Be level headed. Nobody likes a bitter bigot.

Nobody

Stay beautiful, my friends. Happy voting.

Belief: Fact or Fiction

While gleaming through past essays looking for material to incorporate into a speech, I stumbled upon this gem I wrote in my philosophy class. I find it goes hand in hand with my last blog about religion, but with a more factual approach. It even comes with citations! (*leans over shoulder* "Wait, she's using citations now??" "Well she is in college after all.... now shush, I'm reading.) Granted, they're not really applicable because you don't have the text I was using as a reference but I decided to leave them anyways because it makes me look smart. AND because I'm lazy. But mostly because I'm lazy.

As a kind of background, part of the reason I decided to pursue writing was because of my philosophy teacher. He was a pretentious man who often spoke of his time as a professor in Germany, waved his glasses around to emphasize whatever he was talking about, and had the most unique laugh.... and quite possibly my favorite professor to date. Half the enjoyment from his class came from watching his mannerisms while he taught. And, of course, the other half came from what he taught. He was brilliant and a wonderful man to listen to. After turning in my last essay of the semester, he pulled me aside and asked me what I was going in to. At that time, it was Anthropology. I had hopes of becoming the next Indiana Jones but with curves. He pondered, shook his head, and gave me the kindest compliment of my writing to date. Considering how smart he was and how highly I viewed him in my mind, I was like a starstruck fan. My idol had just told me I was a brilliant writer. "You should pursue writing." For a year that statement followed me. And now here I am.

So for a taste of something different... here ya go

Belief: Fact or Fiction?

            “Hurry up,” my mom calls. “Your macaroni and cheese is about finished.” As an eager five year old child, I rush down the stairs in time to see my mother taking the pan off of the stove. Curious as to the magic of cooking macaroni and cheese, I gaze into the pulsing red coils. “Don’t touch the burner. It’s hot.” Being a young pre-school student, I didn’t know that red indicated the temperature of an object, nor did I know that metal could be heated up using various methods. All I knew was that my mother told me not to touch it. Did I believe her? Being a curious heathen and the cause for my mother’s gray hair, of course I didn’t. I set my splayed hand on top of the burned and received welts and blisters that took weeks to heal. The experience for my brother, however, was different. Being a mama’s boy, he believed everything she said. When she told him not to touch the hot burner, he accepted that it was a hot burner because of his trust in our mother. What worked for him did not work for me. The same goes for the ethics of belief. Clifford and James are both right; yet they are both wrong. I feel that a resounding yes, in the case of James, or a resounding no, in the case of Clifford, cannot be applied straight across the board. Concerning the ethics of belief, each person is different and requires different amounts of faith or fact.

            Religion has always been a sensitive subject no matter what the field. In science it is awkward and disregarded, in philosophy it is as intriguing as it is varying, and in politics it is shunned like the vegetables on a child’s plate. This attitude has much to do with the lack of physical proof to the existence of God, revelation, priesthood, and so on. When someone claims enlightenment, they can only explain how they are feeling. Religion is based predominantly on warm fuzzy feelings and the soft whisperings of the Spirit. Never can they present someone with a material reason to their altered state. Yet, does this prevent us from asking for proof? In religious texts such as the Bible, the number of devout followers mirrors the number of the slightly less eager, more doubtful people asking for a sign. The amount of proof required to believe varies from person to person. With some individuals a feeling of hope and charity is enough for them to follow someone like Buddha or Gandhi. With others, it would take heavenly choirs and the ministering of angels before they were a follower of deity. Clifford mentions that one should thoroughly investigate a belief before justifying that belief (The Ethics of Belief 1063). However, any Christian, Hindi, or Pagan would tell you they investigated their belief through praying, fasting, and reading of scriptural text, proving Clifford’s point to a certain degree. Yes we need to investigate. Yes we need to ensure our beliefs to be true. The type and amount of confirmation required for a belief is where we start entering the gray area. What will work for some will not work for others; the amount required to testify to some will not testify to others. Therefore, with the unique conditions of the human mind, it is impossible to determine one uniform answer upon the ethics of belief.

            “This shows that deadness and liveliness in an hypothesis are not intrinsic properties, but relations to the individual thinker” (The Will to Believe 1149). With some ideas they are impossible to deny, such as the existence of Abraham Lincoln or the face value of the change in your pocket (The Will to Believe 1150). Even though we may say something to that degree, it is within our being that we know this to be true. This defines the live and dead theory of a hypothesis according to James. A hypothesis is dead if it has no appeal. A hypothesis is living if there is some possibility to the statement. With this idea in mind, James also ventures to say that the liveliness of a hypothesis can vary from one person to the next. In order to be living it must “appeal as a real possibility to him whom it is proposed” as well as “make an electric connection with your nature” (The Will to Believe 1149). He uses the example of Mahdi. To an individual raised in a predominantly Protestant country, the idea of the Redeemer makes no connection with what they have been raised to believe in. To an Arab, however, this idea is very much alive. James is thus saying that the beliefs of one individual can vary from the beliefs of another. What applies to one has no application to another.  In addition to the idea that our beliefs come from our genetics, I feel that they also come from our culture, our family, and the way we are raised. Clifford may turn up his nose as this “may help to kill or keep alive fatal superstitions which clog his race” but, as with the Mahdi example, I feel this is not the case. Be it my anthropology influence, I believe that our beliefs come from several different influences. In this I agree with James that we cannot choose our beliefs. They are just there in our subconscious mind, governing our daily actions. Some things may appeal to one person and not the other due to several deciding factors. Using our earlier examination of religion, we can then conclude that the existence of deity may be very real for some but not for others. The idea of hot burning coils and a truthful mother may appeal to some but not to others. The application of the living/dead theory as proposed by James can help differentiate the amount of proof needed to believe in something. If something to us is living then we can easily believe it with little persuasion. If something is dead then it is near if not impossible to internalize such a belief. With that being said, the idea of deity may be living within some while it may lay dormant in others unless acted upon by a torrential outside force; this outside force being the thorough investigation mentioned by Clifford. This idea of differentiation reiterates the absurdity of generalizing everyone’s beliefs opposed to catering them to situational experiences. “The maximum of liveness in an hypothesis means willingness to act irrevocably. Practically, that means belief; but there is some believing tendency wherever there is willingness to act at all” (The Will to Believe 1149).

            To say that every individual always affects the whole is to say that every can of chili always gives you gas. When it does happen it is unfortunate, uncomfortable, and definitely displeasing to those around you. However, it only happens occasionally under the right circumstances. When it doesn’t happen no one is put out and you get to enjoy a nice can of southern goodness or, in this case, entertain a personal belief. The methods at which the individual expresses their views can affect the whole but, again, this does not always happen. Just as beliefs vary from person to person, so can the degrees at which they affect a group of people vary from person to person if affected at all. If I were a strong, devout, self-religious “bible-basher” constantly proclaiming by views in the middle of town square, I would create a huge impact on the public. However, this may not apply to the ethics of belief as much as it applies to the ethics of ignorantly stupid people. If I were to privately entertain a belief in Jesus Christ or Confucius, what “evil born of such a belief” (The Ethics of Belief 1064) is yet to be determined by this student of philosophy. This assumption made by Clifford is the same as all other topics discussed within my words; they are situational. The world that Clifford presents concerning the infection of others beliefs is also very bleak and depressing. Granted, Clifford expresses that this poisonous means of thinking applies to those who have not thoroughly investigated their beliefs. But who is to decide what a thorough investigation constitutes? What may seem extensive to one may be minimal to another and vice versa. So to assume that every idea that goes without research is hazardous is not without its exceptions. We must take into account the ethics of the individual and how they govern themselves. In my experience, I have come across people of the same faith who administer themselves unto the public in extremely opposite ways. While one may go about their way quietly, exemplifying the ideals of their religion with actions, another may be boisterous and judgmental of those who are different. We must keep in the mind the uniqueness of the human kind and the variations in which we carry ourselves.

            There will always be the exception in the human experience. “I” does not always come before “E” even before “C”. Ox to oxen is not as box to boxes. So to say that “it is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone, to believe anything upon insufficient evidence” (The Ethics of Belief 1065) is to make a very irrational and finite judgment. If this were the case, then I would have been justified in melting my palm into a fleshy wound. If you would have told me, as I stood there clutching my hand to my chest, crying rivers of tears, that I did the right thing, I would have placed your hand upon the burned and asked you how right it felt. Now, with more knowledge to back up my irrational lash out of anger at your ignorance, I can confidently say that there is a time and a place for belief and faith as there is for fact and exploration. There is also variation among what people will and will not believe as well as the proof required for them to believe. The ethics of belief are entirely personal to the individual and variable to the whole.

            

Rated R

Most of the time my writing is persuasive, borderline argumentative, and horribly sarcastic.

Today will not be one of those times.

...well, there will probably be some sarcasm. Let's face it--sarcasm and I are like wine and cheese. You can have one without the other but if you expect to wine and dine at the Ritz with Cary Grant .. expect there to be cheese with your wine.

I'm here to tell you my opinion. I not here to challenge your opinion--mainly because part of my opinion is we should all be entitled to our own opinion. Today's post is Rated R...

... for religion.

Yes. I'm about to take on one of the most talked about subjects in America. Every problem we face seems to boil down to religion. We could sit here and talk over separation of church and state, religion in the workplace, drowning your fellow peers with your Bible bashing, etc, but I'm not about to do that. Granted, we could talk for hours and create some heated discussions but I'm not feeling that today.

"Are you there God? It's me, Shalese."

In case you didn't know, for those of you first timers here, I was raised as a member of the LDS church. I went to sunday school, to girls camp, to seminary, and so on. And I loved it.... usually. There were days I would walk out of seminary with a smile on my face and a glow in my heart. However, there were also some days I would walk out with tears on my face and a storm in my soul. There were so many things I didn't agree with. Often times, when a student or a teacher would say something I disagreed with I would brush it off. The religion is based upon the teachings and not the people.... right? Whenever there would be something I didn't understand I would assume it was because of my limited knowledge and it was God's will. For years I lived this way. I was upset all the time and yet I was upset for being upset. Why am I confused? I must be terrible. Why don't I understand? I must not be spiritual. I was in constant inner turmoil because I was not understanding and hating myself for not being able to understand.

Yeah.. a GREAT way to live. Constantly hating myself. Shalese, how could you ever leave such a lifestyle?? I was terribly unhappy. Sure, there were moments of happiness but there was a shadow always present in the corner of my happiness. For 19 years I lived this way. I went to college, I joined my singles ward, and I withstood the willy evils of a college campus. I did what I was suppose to. I had a great time. I was still so ill at ease with myself. I was constantly afraid of letting people in on the secret called my life--the fact that my family was not conventional, I did not agree with many things we were being taught, and I was so unhappy with myself. I felt like life in the single ward was a constant facade. No one struggled and we were all a happy spiritual bunch of pre-wed wannabes.

Or maybe it was just me. Maybe everyone was happy and I just didn't fit in. I did meet some great people and had some wonderful leaders but I was left feeling empty. It was like a constant roller coaster of happy and rock bottom. Summer came around after my first year of college and I decided to cast out my net. See what else was out there. I took the essentials I still believed in from being raised LDS and headed back to square one. I banished my inner demons and started anew.

Am I declaring the LDS religion to hold no truth? Quite the opposite. I have known some beautiful members of the LDS church who pulled me through some rough times. I'm certain their hearts are made of gold. For them the LDS faith is pure and true. It just isn't always for me. I think that religion speaks differently to each individual. What may be true for some people does not ring true to others and boils down to the goodness of your heart. I'm sure God would prefer a kind-hearted atheist over a hateful Christian. Because according to society such phrases should be considered oxymoron's. I'm sorry if you feel I'm pointing fingers because that's certainly not my intentions. No single religion stands guiltless. It happens all the time. Personally, I just feel like I would rather stand alone than group myself with a belief system I can't commit my whole heart towards.

So where do I stand now? I've talked and talked about what I don't believe in and have yet to mention what I do believe. I believe religion is a unique experience to each individual. God can take on many forms depending on the needs of whoever is looking for him. Do I believe in God? Christ? I believe life is too beautiful for it to simply be happenstance but as to who had a hand in making this crazy thing called life I remain open minded. She? He? Them? I've certainly had to seriously reflect on my beliefs while writing this but honestly I still remain uncertain. Whenever I pray, I pray to the LDS idea of a strong, all-knowing male figure. Whenever I meditate, I envision the enlightened Buddha who believes in dimensions of awareness and peace. Whenever I chant, I think of energetic children. Whenever I think of children, I depict a beautiful woman with withered hands and a giving heart.

To me, God is in everything and everywhere I go. Divinity is all around us here on Earth. I can feel it when I watch a play or read literature. I can see it in the eyes of a scientist when they explain their discoveries. I watch it grow with the new flowers of springtime. I can hear it in the cries of a newborn child and the soft comforting murmurs of their mother. It radiates from the body of a dancer as they express themselves with their movement. It's in the unity of human beings as they rally for the sake of the greater good. I picture it as a warm ripple of light that touches our hearts as it makes its way from person to person. It enlightens us, wakes us up, and brings us together. It is driven by love and motivated by passion.

I'm not so sure if I would call that God so much as spirit. I believe in the spirit of humanity. I believe in love. I believe in us. In me and in you. I may not be religious but I have enough spirituality to join in a community drum circle, meditate with a Buddhist monk, roll down the hill with a group of children, and plant flowers in my garden. Sincerity and kindness are my driving forces. Karma will always play a big part in who I am. Into life I will put my best and wait for it to come back around. I will discipline my mind, my body, and my spirit. I will remain enlightened and open-minded and take life as it comes while trying to be a better person.

I'm still growing. Life is still hard and I seem to learn by trial and error... but I'm learning. I don't feel limited. Maybe one day I will change. Maybe I won't. Right now I know that I'm happy and I feel more like myself than I ever have before. I have the ability to accept people with different views and opinions because I don't adhere to the belief that I am right and you are wrong. When entering a conversation about religion, or simply life in general, I enter with the mindset that I have the opportunity to learn something new.

Just as our appearances will vary, so will our beliefs. If we all looked the same it'd be boring. It goes the same for our beliefs. Just remember to be respectful of those around you. Life has so much to offer it'd be a shame to miss out because we were too busy limiting ourselves. We are all different and that's okay. Simple enough but sometimes we forget.

Stay beautiful kids.

Times Are Hard For Dreamers

Do not fret! Your eyes are fine. You are not seeing double.

 "Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs"

Times are hard for dreamers. 

"Shalese... where did you get the name for your blog?" 

I stumbled upon this phrase a few years ago. At the time, it never meant anything to me. "Hmm, times are hard for dreamers. Fair enough." I stored it into my thought bank and never thought about it until I stumbled upon the phrase again on Pinterest. And again, I pushed it to the back burner until a couple months later. Looking for tattoo inspiration, I recalled this phrase and looked into its meaning. 

Needless to say, my life has since been changed.

It comes from the french comedy Amélie. This movie is about a whimsical free spirit who believes she can make herself happy by changing the lives of the people around her. She gives herself over to people in order to make them happy. She does gain perspective from these good deeds and in turn they make her happy, but only for a short amount of time. In her pursuit for the happiness of others, she forgets her own happiness, leaving her feeling isolated and alone. As she is watching over everyone else, her friend is in turn observing her. It is through this relationship with this friend that she realizes that, while it is indeed good to help others, you will never be happy if your sole purpose is pleasing other people and in turn forgetting yourself. 

Twenty years of extreme selflessness streamed down my face as I questioned my life as a giver. Was I happy? Certainly in a temporary sense but I was spreading thin. I felt like I had given so much of myself to others that I had lost myself in the process. There wasn't anything even left to build off of. 

As a middle school student, I worried about what people thought of me. Granted, I didn't much care for what strangers thought of me. I was a goofy ginger kid who played in the band and loved super heroes and anime. What bothered me most was whenever my friends and family were upset with me. If I even sensed contention I would ignite into a flame of worry. I'd bend myself over backwards just to find out what was wrong and remedy the situation as easily as I could. Having changed schools twice during my K-12 career I faced many rocky situations with new friends that would KILL me. I was so unstable I'm sure I came close several times to com busting in a burst of radioactivity.

That is a HARD way to live. You can never like yourself because you are in a constant state of turmoil trying to prevent people from disliking you. And try as you might, people notice. When you are giving off a vibe of worry and discontent people are less likely to be content with you, despite your best efforts. They'll bend to your whim momentarily but soon, at the first sign of strife, you will bend and eventually you will break.

I understand I speak often about loving others and accepting people for who they are. But how can you accept someone else ... if you can't even accept yourself? Do you think when you can be okay with yourself it will HONESTLY matter what someone else does? It is easier to embrace other walks of life when you yourself are walking tall. People will sense your security and in themselves they can be secure.

In its youth, a tree is weak and easily swayed. It can bend to those who impose their will upon its limbs. The roots are thin, weak, and shallow, which in turn makes it easy to move. In time, however, a tree can grow   into one of the most powerful beings of nature. This tree will offer you its shade, its fruit, and its limbs but it will not offer you its life. It is anchored into the ground and it will not move for you. Despite whatever goes on underneath its outstretching limbs, it continues to grow. Have you seen a tree stop the children from playing beneath its limbs, challenging them to change? "I do not agree with the games with which you play. They are unheard of. You need to be mindful of the trees. We've been here for years."

Are you so deeply anchored in yourself that, despite their best efforts, you will change for no one? Are you comfortable enough with yourself to be comfortable with everyone else?

Do you know how long it took for me to be comfortable in this pale, freckly skin of mine? Years. And trial after trial after trial resulting in a refiners fire. As soon as I started loving myself it became easier for me to love others. I can accept people for who they are, despite our differences. I can give to other people without forgetting myself. It takes time and initiative.

Consider this your wake-up call.

I WANT you to be happy. I wish I could just shake it into your brain but it's something you're going to have to learn. It's going to take time, tears, and heart ache. Does it hurt? Like hell. Is it worth it? You BETTER believe it. I ask for your happiness so that you can be okay with yourself. LOVE yourself. You're cool and you know it. With time, you will start casting out roots and realize how awesome the world is around you. People are beautiful. LIFE is beautiful.

Love.is.beautiful

Times are hard for dreamers. Are you going to feel misunderstood? Of course. Until someone invents the machine that allows us to adventure through each others minds, no one is going to understand the full extent of your dreams. They're not going to understand your wants, your desires, and what makes you tick. Times are hard but times are WORTH IT. Make it your life long goal to make people understand. If that requires you to go beyond-jogging through the park throwing flowers as you go then I'll be right there with you. Wearing peacock feathers.

Carpe that diem kids. And stay beautiful.


Credit goes to Marc Romero. He does all my body art. You can find him here
http://www.facebook.com/MadInkStudio

   

Ways to Keep Us Sane

"Ahh, wonderful coffee," I say as I sip on my coffee while listening to Kings of Leon. I'm pretty sure my infatuation with Kings of Leon has grown into something irrational but I don't care. "What should my next blog post be about," I think to myself as I sift through my thoughts and opinions. I move my yoga mat aside so an elderly gentleman with the paper can sit in the chair beside me. "My poor poetry book... it's been so neglected." I adjust my hipster glasses and pull up my skinny jeans and realize...

God damn. I should probably never get a Mac just for the sake I might drown in the mainstream.

Joke of the day: If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, does a hipster buy its album?

ANYWAYS, here's a poem I wrote. enjoy

Dance in the sunshine
Feel the grass under your feet
Sway to the rhythm produced by the beat of your heart
No need for music
Just the heat in the air
Today I dance with reckless abandon because today I do not care
With the clouds as my partner we fly across the sky
Such a beautiful melody it's no wonder that they cry
Cherish each rain drop upon your face as you would a warm embrace
Twirl under the arms of the trees and leap through the meadows with the ease of a child
Today I dance with reckless abandom
Today, for you, I care

If it's not broke, don't fix it. FOR MY DAD(2)

I had originally wrote this as a guest writer for my dads(2) blog but it would not upload. So I will post it here for all to see and read. If you know me, you'll know I lean towards the side of sarcastic. In case you don't, a heads up, I'm WILDY sarcastic. Plus, when it comes to my family, my friends, and my dog, I'm equally as protective. I feel that drawing upon both my writing takes on more of a fighting style. I mean no offense to anyone or any certain perspective. Besides, a little satire never hurt anyone (anyone ever heard of Jonathan Swift? If not, he's BRILLIANT). This is just my take on things and how I see. I LOVE you all and please be well. And you know that individual you see everywhere who seems to be alone all the time? I challenge you to talk to them today. 

Want to know the cope out every great writer uses in order to get their ideas flowing? Start by looking up 

the definitions of the words your ideas are headed towards. You can even define them within your article because often times it makes you sound smart and educated. If anyone asks though, you didn’t hear it from me. As I was wandering through my mind looking for something to write about as the guest blogger on my dads(2) blog today, I decided to check out what dictionary thought about the word family. I think that everyone can agree that dictionary is pretty unbiased and non-denominational. According to dictionary, a family is “a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children.” It also said that a family is “a group of people living under one household.” Interested in where this was taking me, I turned towards the word parent. A parent is “a protector or guardian.”

And THERE you have it! Not even so much of a mention of the words husband or wife. I checked all the loop holes and even according to a source as simple as a dictionary it does not say a family is limited to a man, a woman, and their resulted offspring. Granted, if you looked at a dictionary in the 60’s it probably talked about the nuclear family—a man, a woman, and their 2.5 kids. However, it also talked about the proper steps to take when being attacked by nuclear warfare. We can obviously see how well that turned out. Nowadays, we know if we get hit with an atomic bomb, the only thing left will be the cockroaches. So why was it so easy to change our views about mushrooms clouds and why is it so hard to change our views about the fundamental workings of a family?

I’m sure we can all agree that, despite the varying types of rocks, they all have common characteristics that classify them as rocks. They are all hard to some degree. They are made of minerals and come from the ground. They hurt when you throw them at people. I know it’s a long stretch to compare a rock to a family but I’m trying to make it easier for people to see my reasoning. Although I’m pretty sure if I picked up my brother and threw him at someone it wouldn’t feel too great for the person on the receiving end. Some rocks are big, some are small, some are shiny, some are dull, and they come in many different colors. Wouldn’t it be unheard of to look at obsidian, for example, and say, “Oh I’m sorry. You’re a wee bit shinier than all the other rocks so… we’re kicking you out.” It has the essentials of being a rock and yet because it is different it can be considered by some to be something else. What else could it be?? It’d be a pretty bizarre flower. Next time you upset your significant other, be sure to bring them a pile of rocks and tell me how it goes.

These people that declare that a gay couple cannot have a family… what else do they assume them to be? A mass gathering of people that just HAPPEN to look out for each other? Even dictionary says a family is a group of people living under one household. I guess it just depends on your personal definition of a family. Do you look to the Bible for your definition? Do you look to the dictionary? Do you abandon all definitions and look to the side of love? I hope for the sake of the greater good we can answer with D) All of the above.

I understand those who define their family by the Bible. There are many strong biblical families and it’s a great foundation for some. I respect those who define their family by the dictionary. Above all, I adore those who define their family based on love. Love should be the core value of a family. Therefore, unless you find a family with the EXACT same people as yours leading the EXACT same lives, do not hold other families to the same values as yours. What works for you will not work for others. I don’t expect you to agree with the workings within every family. If it’s not what you believe in I wouldn’t want to condemn your way of life anymore than I would want you to condemn someone else’s. But if you can at least recognize that their family is one built on love and trust then what does it matter? We’re focusing so much attention on assuming the family is made of a man and a woman that we’re forgetting that a family is made on love. What about those children who are living in a situation where there is no love and there is no trust? All these laws and all this money and all this effort being put forth by our politicians could be put towards a more noble cause but we’re devoted to protecting marriage because some assume it can only be between a man and a woman.

Marriage is a multi-faceted concept. Yes, some get married because of love. However, some get married because of circumstance. Some get married because of their parents. Some get married because of their religion. Some get married because the condom broke. Any cases of gay couples getting married because the condom broke?? It is a rare circumstance when a gay couple does not get married for a reason other than love. When they start building their family, it is because they want a family. Would you deny a child a family just because you assume their parentage is immoral? Yes, so let’s leave them in foster care or an orphanage just because someone can’t get over what they read during scripture study.

Family is changing. I’m not just talking about gay couples. What about single parent families? Children being raised by grandparents or aunts and uncles or older brothers and sisters? Times are changing. People are changing. Why is our way of thinking taking so long to change?

Please know that I don’t expect everyone to suddenly take up a rainbow flag, hit up gay day at Disneyland, and fully embrace this new and upcoming lifestyle. What I do expect is respect. If there’s something you disagree with that is okay. If there’s something you don’t understand that is okay too. Just know that your way is not the right way for everyone and it is possible to live simultaneously with someone who does things a little differently. In order for life to be colorful, there has to be all types of colors. Remember in art class when you’d overmix your colors with fervor and they’d end up the color of barf? Mix them together side by side and they create something beautiful. Let’s live side by side. Color to color.

I was raised by a gay couple. No I don’t feel neglected. No I don’t do drugs. No I’m not crazy. Well, I’m kind of crazy but only the good kind of crazy. I feel supported in everything I do. I’m going to college for a bachelors in journalism and a minor in creative writing. I pay my bills like everyone else. I volunteer at the soup kitchen and put together backpacks for kids who go home hungry. I bake cookies for people who beg on the street corners. I give EVERYONE a chance regardless of my snap judgments. So to be honest, I think I ended up on top BECAUSE I was raised by both a loving gay couple and a mother who taught me well. I was showered in love and support. I feel so secure in myself I started a  blog :P which was my Ron’s idea by the way…. I’m so happy and I hate to think of other people missing out on being happy just because of circumstance, prejudice, or a worn-out way of thinking. Regardless of whether you’re for or against, pro or con, red or blue, purple or yellow, shiny or dull, remember that standing on the other end of the trench is someone just like you and if you give them a chance you may actually be able to live side by side peacefully <3

Waving The White Flag: The Golden Mean

One fine day in government class....

Teacher: "Based upon which politician you agree with, I'd like you to move to either the left or right side of the room".

I can't remember the politicians. Both were brilliant but the names are far from my mind. Anyways...

Teacher: "Umm.... Shalese. WHAT are you doing?"
Me: "Well, you see teacher... I feel like both men have valid points and if we were to apply both of their ideas we'd have a more cohesive way of thinking. Everyone would have a voice and, albeit with some compromise, we'd all be satisfied with the end result. Therefore, I am standing in the MIDDLE of the room."

Wasn't I such an eloquent high school student.....

No matter what the students or the teacher would say, I would not be moved from the middle of the classroom.  Why limit myself to one way of thinking when I could encompass more beliefs and opinions by closely examining them both? Everyone has good ideas but not ALL of their ideas are going to be winners. You're going to have to look at multiple ways of thinking to be properly educated in developing your own.

ENTER SHALESE

Hi, I'm Shalese. I'm the voice of the middle ground. I wanted to formally take the time to introduce myself. The reason I chose to do this as a second entry and not the first was because I felt that my first post was the walkway with which lead you to the front door of my mind. It gave you a chance to see how I write, how I feel, and a gist of how I see things. I'd like to say that I am opinionated. I am QUITE opinionated. However, my opinions aside, an educated individual has the ability to listen to others opinions and examine them with an unbiased mind. The insight you gain from such reflection then integrates itself into your belief system. Philosophers dating back to Ancient Greece held strongly to such a way of thinking.

 It goes like this.... Remember when you were a kid and you HATED (insert food of choice here--mine was mushrooms) ?? Despite what everyone told you, no way in HELL were you going to eat it. The loathing for this dish was ingrained into your every being. If mushrooms had so much as come in contact with whatever I was eating I could tell. Then, when I came to college, I became more involved with the Japanese community of Pocatello. What is a common food in Asian dishes?? MUSHROOMS. I didn't want to look like a child picking out what I didn't like and abandoning it on the side of my plate. So, despite my INTENSE hate for this fungusthatshouldnotbeeaten... I ate them. And you know what?? I LOVE MUSHROOMS. I eat them in miso soup. I eat them in my salad. I fry them up and eat them by themselves. For 20 years I was missing out on something great until my pride forced me to eat them. I was stuck in this mental rut I could not escape from.

I'm not asking you to embrace everything, everyone, and every walk of life. Your opinions make you who you are. If we all thought the same things, felt the same way, life would be boring and we would be robots. I'm just saying that, if you're stuck in a mental rut, pull your head out off the sand and eat those mushrooms. Examine every side of the story, every perspective, every reason, every fact. Do not limit yourself to one way of thinking, one politician, one type of food group. You could truly miss out on something that will change your life.

I believe the reason why I live in the middle ground is because of the things I've been through. I'm the product of a strong, faithful LDS mother and stepfather and a fabulous, flamboyant gay dad and his partner. Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum, huh?? I was bound to end up in the middle growing up with something like that. Both sets of parents are excellent people and I love them to the stars and back. As I grew up, I was able to look at both of their lifestyles and determine how I wanted to live based on what I saw. I went through experiences that few people go through at the same time. I experienced the radical left and the radical right. I liked some things, didn't like others, and move towards the happy middle. I found out, however, that few people are in the happy middle.

We live in a world full of red and blue, of black and white, and of  *regenbogen farbig and clear. There is no representation of the people that live in the middle. WHAT is so wrong with living in the middle? Not even living in the middle, but listening to the middle. Giving them a chance. If you truly believe in the extreme left or right, kudos to you for believing in something. Just don't let your beliefs consume you past the point of reason . Always be mindful that life is ever changing and you must do the same. New light is shed on things each day. Don't limit yourself. According to ancient philosophers, you will seem ignorant and uneducated.

I believe in compromise. I love the middle ground. My favorite color is sparkly gold. I'm pretty sure I was a peacock in my past life. I LOVE them. I want to write for a magazine or newspaper and live somewhere like Seattle or San Francisco. I have four brothers and three sisters. I love my family. LOVE my family. I'm part Japanese and part Irish and, to be honest, I think it's the coolest. I love where I come from. I love where I'm going. I'm an Aquarius and I use to think astrology was a bunch of horseshit until I read into it... it fits me to a T. There's more aquarians in the Hall of Fame than any other zodiac sign. There's also more in the insane asylums. We're crazy, inspired, and constantly consumed by everything around us. I dance everywhere I go. I like to sing loud and off-key. I enjoy people and talk A LOT. I love life. I just ..... Love. Everything. Everyone. I use the word beautiful often. I talk to myself more than anyone else.

I don't intend to change the world. I fear that such a drastic change where everyone loved everyone would end in chaos. It'd be idealistic, but realistic? I'm not sure. I just hope that we can at least get to a place where there is no hate. We can agree to disagree. We can accept people for who they are and not what they do or where they come from. Let's try and replace hate with respect. Get the wheels turning. Pick up your feet and try to make a difference. I know it's scary to stand up against such a strong movement but, if we all work on it together, I think we could get somewhere. If I see you out in the real word, I'll be sure to give you a thumbs up. And perhaps a hug.

"Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."
~Dalai Lama




*German word for rainbow colored. Probably my favorite German word. I know bits and pieces of German but mostly pickup lines. DIRTY pickup lines ;)

YOLO: The Uneducated Carpe Diem

YOLO

You only live once. A big thanks to Drake and Tyga for this witty phrase we all love to hate. What started out as song lyrics has turned into a lifestyle.

"Well, should I really take one more shot? YOLO." "I want to go out tonight but have an early morning.... YOLO." "Finals? Nah dawg YOLO."

Obviously the association with YOLO is not a positive one. As urban dictionary defines it, "mainly used to defend doing something ranging from mild to extreme stupidity." We only have one life to live so why live a boring one?

Alright Drake I GET it.

 I don't want to spend my entire life sober or studying either. However, what started out as a lifestyle has turned into an excuse for partying college students and people with nowhere to go. You'd think with only one life to live we'd want to spend it in a state of constant growth and development. I know my dream is to someday spend my life in a moderately nice house, drive a sexy car, marry an even more sexy man, and have a job where I get paid to publish the crazy meanderings within my mind. With only one life to live, I don't have much time to squander if I want to live my life the way I want to live.

Now comes the tricky part....

How do I work towards living the way I want to live without forgetting the life I'm leading now?

I had to dig through the closet and dust off the cobwebs but I managed to find my old friend..... Carpe Diem. I'm not denying the brilliance of Drake and Tyga but does anyone happen to know the origin of Carpe Diem? It is a Latin phrase first found in the book Odes Book 1 written by Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C. - 8 B.C.).

                Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what end the gods have granted to me or you. Don't play
                with Babylonian fortune-telling either. How much better is it to endure whatever will be! 
                Whether Jupiter has granted you many more winters or this is the final one which even 
                now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite -- Be wise, strain the wine,
                and scale back your long hopes to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have
               already fled. SEIZE THE DAY, trusting as little as possible to the future. 

I will give you this--Horace does say to scale back your long hopes. I know that school, family, and other lifestyle choices are a long ways off for some of us. But what if we look at it this way? Forget my degree, forget my family, forget my Lexus, and forget my future marriage with Adam Levine. Today, I will go to work and make the best of it. I will pay my bills and be satisfied with what is left. I will clean my room and be grateful for the house I live in. I will strengthen my relationship ties with my family, my friends, my dog, strangers, my pillow, whatever.....
Seize the day! I encourage you to make the best of what is going on in your life RIGHT NOW. Do not waste it in frivolity and ignorance. Open your eyes to what is around you and breathe it in as if it's all you live for because the length of your life is never certain. Their lack of talent aside, Nickleback poses the question, "what if today was your last day?" I don't know about you but I hope my obituary talks about my academic achievements, my influences on other people, my beautiful friends and family, and the fabulous tattooed babies I made with Adam Levine.

The Hebrew people also have their own phrase, "And if not now, then when?" I know I don't stand blameless of the excuse, "well, I'll do it tomorrow. I mean... I have a long ways to go right? There will always be the opportunity to accomplish this later."

... but what if there isn't?

Seize the day people. Carpe the shit out of that diem and live your life the way you want to now and remember that it will affect the way you will live your life later. Be happy but be healthy. Be smart. Be wise. Be kind, gracious, and loving. Get up, get out, and do something. Be proactive. Be crazy.

YOLO
You obviously lack originality :P

Cheers to all you beautiful people. Stay beautiful and stay happy.