We all know what's coming. How could we not? It liters our Facebook stream, the bumpers of our cars, our lawns, and the comic book section of the newspaper. It divides families and unities strangers. It makes us talk to chairs and jump on couches....or maybe that was for something else... anyways..
The Election
The Presidential Race
The Fight Between Blue and Red
The Elephant and the Ass
STOP!! .. BEFORE you walk away, know that I'm not about to tell you who I think you should vote for. Frankly I think there's been enough of that to wrap around the world twice and still have enough leftovers to make me nauseous. There's been so much mudslinging going on I fear that with even the most unbiased attempt I'd still get some on me.
Who you vote for is entirely up to you..
...or is it?
"Ahh, another day at work," says the elephant. He kisses his wife, pats his children on the head, and walks out the door. He nestles his rock safely into his holster. "Can't go anywhere without this," he adds. It's a little known fact that elephants use rocks to protect themselves in times of crisis. "Another fine day at the barnyard," he grumbles. He'd been fighting with the donkeys all afternoon yesterday about drilling for extra watering holes and wasn't ready for another day of bickering. "For the good of society," he says to himself before heading out the door.
"Mr. Donkey!" the kids cry out as he passes by. "Why hello children! Shouldn't you be in school?" "Mr. Donkey don't be silly! It's a Saturday!" Mr. Donkey laughs. "Why yes, I forgot! Well, don't forget to mind your studies." He walks along, thinking to himself the key points in his speech today for the barnyard. He'd been trying to convince the public that the time for a female to carry a child was her own choice. This new birth control thing was heavy stuff and, by golly, he would not stand for infringement upon a women's right!
With these thoughts in mind, he sees Mr. Elephant. "Hello good sir!" he cries out. Despite their differences they were great friends brought together by the common work place. "It's good to se....
"Whoaa, Mr. Elephant man. What's up?" bleats Mr. Sheep standing by his mailbox. "So I heard you like, hate women and stuff." "Hate women?? The audacity! That is not my stance at all. I love my wife!" replied Mr. Elephant, trying to remain calm after such a heinous remark. "Chaa, okay. My neighbor said you were 'shackling the women into submission'." Mr. Donkey stepped in. "I fear your neighbor is a bit misinformed. You see, Mr. Elephant focuses more on the family and feels abstinence should be taught more in schools." The sheep laughed. "Seeing as how you're a pot smoking hippie freakk, I'd say rock on but Mr. Elephant has you fooled." "I beg your pardon?" replied Mr. Donkey. "The legalization of access to the hemp pasture is still in progress. The medicinal purposes and use of taxes are being looked into. How I feel about the issue is beside the point. I have never partaken in such a process in all my life!" "Suure, okay. Well, tell Bob I won't be at the debate today. I decided to, you know, do other things. So I better go." With that, Mr. Sheep scratched his hind quarters and walked into the house.
"Sheep..." grumbled Mr. Donkey. "They'd follow somebody off a cliff." Mr. Elephant chuckled. "Right you are good friend. Let's get to work."
So, to all my elephants and donkeys out there .... who is getting tired of the sheep? The ones who vote based on heresay and the opinions of others. The ones who only look to validate their pre-existing opinions instead of forming new ones based on fact. The ones who heckle you into insanity instead of engaging in proper political debate. I'm sure you're thinking of a specific person right now..
I will give you this. The media blows stories way out of proportions. We are a desensitized overcritical public so who could blame them? Would a mild story about the President's Family make press over his old smoking habits? Unlikely. So take into account it is hard to search out the truth. Often times our media, however much they try not to be, leans towards the left or the right. Radical stories poison our minds with flashy headlines and pictures via photoshop. To find the honest truth and form proper opinions requires a massive amount of work. However, even massive amounts of research will get you nowhere if you are only looking with a pair of blinders. In an article for the New York Times, Paul Croce said "Often times, when we are stuck in our ways, we don't research to learn. We research to have our opinions validated. We all tend to learn what we already know."
Walking into research with your mind already made up is like paying for plastic surgery while thinking you're already pretty. It's a waste of time resulting in an even more obscure unhappy version of the person before. Stand by your values with all your heart, yes, but be wary of what goes on around you. Constantly be perfecting and reevaluating your values into something respectable enough to take out to dinner.
Just as you inherited your eye color or laugh from your parents, you have probably inherited their beliefs and values. Luckily, the gift of beliefs is not so permanent as the gift of genetics. If you have looked into the facts and thought about what they mean to you and still find your beliefs to match up, I say good for you! Elephants produce elephants and donkeys produce donkeys. However, don't be the weird genetic mutation and wind up a sheep. Are you blindly following your parents off a cliff? Simply spewing what you heard last night at the dinner table? Your beliefs are built upon a rocky foundation that will crumble at the first sign of debate, resulting in a bitter and angry person grasping at straws and clinging to what they think is right. Educate yourselves! Be aware of what's going on and up to date on your current events. Engage in educated discussion and watch the debates and read the news articles. I know it takes time and effort. Often times people don't start to politically assert themselves until college. Just don't miss your chance and be the one stuck in their head.
As much positive and negative things to be said about elephants and donkeys, only one real good thing comes from sheep.... the fact they look pretty hilarious naked. Don't end up naked and embarrassed. And heaven forbid don't walk yourself off a cliff because you were following someone else. There's still a little bit of time. If you don't know who you're voting for then look into the stance of each party. Read the articles. Watch the news. Talk to people. Be level headed. Nobody likes a bitter bigot.
Nobody
Stay beautiful, my friends. Happy voting.
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