"And too much blood has flown from the wrists
Of the children shamed for those they chose to kiss"
Rise Against
Unless you don't have a Facebook or access to social media, you have probably have heard of the terrible death of Amanda Todd. With that, you have probably also seen the jokes and remarks also made in her direction. People are also upset that there was no page made for their brother who was bullied for being a nerd or for being gay. Why does this beautiful girl get a page for being harassed by men she had relations with?
Because of the nature of her death, does that make it anymore justified? "Well, she was asking for it so she deserved what she got." Are you kidding me? Be wary of casting stones in your house of glass. Just because she made mistakes different from your own does not mean her death is any less tragic. When someone takes their own life it is due to extreme suffering and torment. Do not cheapen the mourning experience of her family and friends by spewing hatred and obscenities. No one deserves to go through that.
With that being said, let's address the deaths of those being bullied for other reasons. Hell, let's just address death. Self-inflicted termination of all you have ever known. What kind of society are we that we have driven countless adolescents to such a point of misery. I so wish I could take that child in my arms and cry over their head as I tell them, "it's okay." Weeping together for the troubles they have experienced and the life they have had to go through. Is bullying someone about their sexual orientation really worth a life over your head? Is tormenting someone for being a nerd or ugly or stupid really worth having a hand in the ending of someone's life? Even if someone is different from you or you do not agree, such heinous hatred is useless and unnecessary. It's wildly cliche and spoken over every cradle but.... if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. You surely don't have to embrace the person but you don't have to wound them with your words. Your weighted, disgusting words.
Having sat at and participated in several debates about unconventional and unique families, I've seen what suicide can do to a family. I understand that sometimes there's nothing you can do. With all the help you have given them, it just can't be enough. I watched a mother weep over the loss of her son and it near broke my heart. The advice she gave us was to think of their child when they were alive. A woman asked her, in her time of trial, "what was your son like when he was alive?" It gave her the opportunity to portray her child as a happy and lively young man. She felt relief from shedding beautiful light on this dark story. I have no experience in such a hard time or trial. I understand it is such a hard thing to go through and I have the utmost respect and love for the individuals who take on such a burden. They have the strongest and most beautiful of wings.
This is such an overwhelming topic that I can't even begin to cover it all. Those who push someone to the edge of a cliff and those who have to deal with the loss of when they jump. It's gut-wrenching sad. Please, please, just be wary of what you say to people and how you say it. Words can leave scars that sometimes never heal. Sit by the kid at school who sits alone. Help someone up when someone pushes them down. Pick up their books when someone slaps them away. Say hello. Smile.
We, as a society, need to stop calling out people on our flaws and embrace our triumphs. We're all different, and that's okay. I know I've said it before but I'll say it again. And again. It's essentially the tune to the beat I march to. After I told the drummer how I wanted her to play, of course. Be nice. Please, please be nice.
I love you my dear friends. Stay strong and stay beautiful
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